HELP!!!

A voice on the phone:

-"Doctor, please hurry.  My son swallowed a razorblade."

-"Don't panic, I'm coming immediately.  Have you done anything yet ?"

-"Yea, I shaved with the electric razor."

-"Help! HELP!", the drowning man was screaming, "I can't swim ! "

-"So what", the guy on the shore yells back, "I can't swim either,

  but I'm not making such a fuss about it."

The doctor enters the bedroom, leaving the husband, that urgently called

him, outside.

After only two minutes the doctor gets out and asks the husband if he

could borrow him some really sharp knife.  He returns with a knife and

the doctors dissapears in again.

Soon he gets back, asking to borrow a hammer and a screwdriver.  The husband

runs away to the garage and returns, a little paniced this time.

The doctor goes back to the bedroom again, but gets out after a few minutes

again:

-"Excuse me, but I could really use an axe, if you have one."

-"AN AXE ?", the poor husband screams, "for Gods sake, doc, why don't you

  take my wife to some hospital immediately, when it's a case of that kind ?

  And, what's wrong with her ?

-"Oh, I don't know yet, because I haven't been able to open my bag yet."

The husband gets home from work and his wife is upstairs in bed with 

another man, 

whom upon hearing him, has run naked to the kidsroom and hidden in the closet.

When the husbands goes to his room and finds his wife naked, sweating and with

 some pretty heavy breathing, he asks, " honey? What's the matter?"

"Oh baby," the wife replies, "I think I am having a heart attack!"

So he runs down to the phone to call 911 when his little kid pulls his shirt and says, 

"Daddy, there's a naked man in my closet!"

So he hangs up the phone, goes to his kid's closet and finds his best friend Fred naked.

 He gets upset and yells, "Goddammit Fred! My wife's upstairs having a heart attack

 and you're here naked, scaring my Kid!"





The kid had swallowed a coin and it got stuck in his throat, and so his

mother ran out in the street yelling for help.  A man passing by took the

boy by his shoulders and hit him with a few strong strokes on the back,

and so he coughed the coin out.

-"I don't know how to thank you, doc...", his mother started.

-"I'm not a doctor", the man replied, "I'm from the IRS".